Why is it that some people achieve their goals but others do not?
Why is it that some people achieve goals but others do not?
Jennifer, 35, was 17st and had the goal of losing 3 stone in 12 months. Elizabeth, also 35, was 17st and had the goal of losing 3 stone in 12 months. Jennifer reached her goal. Elizabeth was only 2lb lighter at the same 12 month mark. They both had the same goals but their results differed wildly. Why does this happen? How is it that we can all have good intentions but have such different results? Here are three of the most common reasons:
1. We focus on the goal but not the process of achieving it.
Dreaming and setting goals is fun. It brings hope to our futures and it is a really important part of our success. But healthy and unhealthy people often have the same goals – to be fit, healthy and thriving. As it stands, most of the UK and the USA are NOT healthy. So why do the results vary so much?
Well, focusing on the goal alone will not get you healthier unless you know how to get from where you currently are (unhealthy) to where you want to be (healthy).
The author of Atomic Habits, James Clear, says: “Goals do not determine success. Systems determine success. You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems”.
That is true of everything isn’t it? Let’s say I need to lose 2 stone in weight but I have a busy life – a job, a wife and two kids to look after. I need the systems in place to make sure I eat healthy meals instead of fast food. If I don’t, I will keep going for a while and then give up. If I do a big batch cook on a Sunday afternoon, for example, that will feed me and my wife healthy meals for the next few days then my chances of success are higher than if I try and cook each healthy meal individually. Don’t worry our Pure Performance Coaches will help you with all of this.
If you aren’t seeing good results don’t change your goal. Change the systems that cause these results. If we fix the habits, the outcomes will change themselves.
2. We get frustrated because we don’t see progress fast enough.
Do you know how many people that have gone from fat to fit have lost all of their weight overnight? None. Not one. You will see results along the way (celebrate them!) but it will always take time. Sometimes your progress will seem slow but keep going. Don’t make these rookie errors:
· We wrongly conclude that small good decisions don’t matter that much when results don’t happen rapidly.
· We also wrongly conclude that the small bad decisions don’t matter that much.
They really, really do. You see our health is the sum total of all the small decisions we make on a daily basis. The thing about bad decisions is that they just make it easier to make worse decisions. For example, you may start by adding a chocolate bar to your lunch box. You don’t see much of a difference at first so you decide to have one after dinner too. You start to crave chocolate a lot, and as you don’t see any drastic weight gain (just half a pound a week), you decide to have small slice of cake with your morning coffee. Before you know it, you have added 600 calories to your daily diet. Over time, this translates to significant weight gain. It all started with a small decision.
The opposite is also true. Your healthy habits may seem to be making slow progress against your big goal and you may only lose one or two pounds per week. You may not notice anything different in the mirror for a while until suddenly you can fit in to those jeans that didn’t fit 6 months ago! There is no such thing as an overnight success. There are just people who consistently make good decisions (they may even mess up once in a while – they just get straight back onto their good habits).
3. You make your failures your identity
We often connect our failures to our identity e.g. you put on 10lbs so you think being overweight is who you are (identity). It is not. Or perhaps you have failed in some aspect and you refer to yourself as a failure. You are not. We must not connect our mistakes, our disappointments to who we are.
Our identity, or who we perceive we are often dictates our actions:
· An unhealthy identity creates unwise habits.
· Then the unwise habits reinforce an unhealthy identity.
Alternatively,
· Healthy identity creates positive habits.
· Positive habits reinforce a healthy identity.
Try this exercise. Get a piece of paper and list who you want to become. Here are a few of mine.
I am:
· Healthy, fit and strong – glowing with health.
· A great husband to my wife.
· A great Father to my kids.
· Courageous and brave.
· Someone who has an adventure every day.
· Someone who thrives in life.
· A man who leaves one heck of a legacy behind!
This process does work. Try it.
Make 2022 your best yet!
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